My journal entry - June 21, 2008

I realized yesterday that I'm not really dealing with the issues this makeup fast is bringing to the light. I'm just enduring it – doing it because God said to, and because my girls need me to, and because part of me wants to prove I can.

But that's not enough.

God wants to teach me a lot through this. And He wants to heal the wounds I have, and to break the bondage this has on my life. I've got to be still. I've go to get quiet. I've got to press in and ask Him- "God, what do You want to teach me? What do You want to do in me?"

"God is showing me that being a people pleaser – letting others words give me identity – means being enslaved. Read John 8:32 – "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

That bowled me over. TRUTH. The TRUTH will set me free! As long as I don't the TRUTH about myself – about how God made me and who He made me to be...as long as I don't know the TRUTH about my identity – about who I am in Christ – then I'll be enslaved by others' words. I'll be in bondage – trapped by lies from the enemy – every comment becoming another chain on my wrists, ankles, body... weighing me down until I can't stand, can't sit, can't even pick myself up off the floor, and definitely can't walk in the freedom, authority, and confidence that comes from the Lord!

He sent another text:

"He came to free us in EVERY aspect of our lives! A life enslaved is no life at all. Read John 10:10 – "The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full."

Fullness. Abundant life. How do we live like that? By walking in our identity from Christ.

How do we find that identity? By silencing ALL the voices in our lives except God's. EVERY voice. Even those that are "good" for us – even those positive voices cannot be the place we get our identity! Only His voice can give us worth, identity, and freedom!

But how often to we listen to other's voices in our lives? I read on in John 10:4-5 –

"His sheep follow Him because they know His voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice."