Rejected, criticized, abandoned… these are the words, the thoughts, the emotions I’ve been struggling with lately in my life.
Let me stop here and say- I don’t want this to just be a “woe is me” post, I’m not looking for your pity here. I have an amazing life, and if I begin to feel sorry for myself, I only have to think of my brothers and sisters around the world- my friends in Africa bring so much perspective to my life. I truly am grateful for my loved ones, and all God has given me. Still, in the midst of my blessed life, I struggle with difficult times. Recently, these have been more evident and more painful. This is my attempt to be transparent and to let you in—to have true community with you instead of hiding behind a mask- in hopes God would use these struggles to minister to you in some way.
And so, honestly, I’ve been struggling a lot with rejection, criticism, and abandonment lately. There have been several friendships in my life tainted by these issues, and they’ve hit hard. My head is still spinning, and my heart is in a million pieces. Emotionally I’ve been reeling.
I don’t know how it happened, and I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve begun to analyze each relationship and to ask a million self-depreciating questions:
“God what could I have done? Could I have been a better friend? Could I have loved them more? Could I have tried harder? Did I just not love them enough? Was I just not good enough? Am I undesirable? Am I unacceptable? Do they even miss me God? Or am I meaningless and easily forgotten?”
They are harsh, hurtful questions. They’ve been eating away at me- at my heart and soul. I have sought truth from the Word, and truth from friends. It has been spoken over my heart and over my life… yet still I struggle.
Why must I hurt like this? Why must I be so broken? What good is there in these situations? What good can come of broken relationships? of heartache?
In the midst of my struggle, a dear Catholic friend of mine spoke out. “Ericka”, he said, “Go back to the cross. I think God is teaching you, through this, to have more of His heart- to have more of His character. That is why we have the crucifix everywhere… it is not some morbid symbol of death, it is our reminder. Today, go back to the cross and realize- whatever you are going through, He has been there.”
“He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.”
Isaiah 53:5
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CRITCIZED
“The chief priests and the teachers of the law were standing there, vehemently accusing him. Then Herod and his soldiers ridiculed and mocked him…”
Luke 23:10-11
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ABANDONED
“And at the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”—which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
Mark 15:34
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It’s true- Christ suffered ALL these things- and at the hand of those closest to him. Remember He was handed over to the chief priest not by a stranger, but by one of His dearest friends. He was betrayed not with a pointing finger, but with a kiss.
We are promised as Christians that we are no greater than our Father, if He suffered so will we –
“Remember the words I spoke to you: ‘No servant is greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also.” – John 15:20
But take heart!
so our consolation also abounds through Christ.”
2 Cor 1:5
If you are struggling today with rejection, criticism, and abandonment, let His love console you. Go back to the cross and remember, He has been there. Then, run into His arms and let Him cover you with His perfect love. There you are accepted and affirmed, just as you are. There you can rest and know you will never be abandoned. He will never let you go!
“I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you.“
Isaiah 41:9
“Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.”
Psalm 9:10
“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
Deuteronomy 31:8
“Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!”
Psalm 66:20
Rejected, Criticized, Abandoned. When my husband and I went to Cote d’Ivoire to serve for a year back in 1980, we felt these emotions as we were misunderstood by those closest to us. God was faithful, and we learned much from our experiences serving Him in Africa. Do continue to draw strength from His Word.
I am currently reading Charles Swindoll’s biography of the apostle Paul. He stresses that Paul was taught much by the things he suffered and the changes that took place in his life, preparing Him for service.
Ericka, I pray God will bless you richly as you look to Him at this trying time.
My Pastor often reminds our members that we can not be used of God without being abused by man. Through each heartache & trial we see our need to seek the Lord only to draw closer to Him. The Word has the answer to all of our problems. Everything we experience will help us to minister to others in a way that we possibly could not do otherwise. God will use it for good!
My dear friend…you know I know exactly how you feel, and I am so glad God has brought us to walk this journey together. I am so thankful for His grace in these times when we feel hopeless and unloved because he is the ultimate lover and if we are serving Him, we will be persecuted…but He is still there. Hang in there girl! I love you!!
C 🙂
my friend- such encouragement!! i so often let little things get to me- why do they ignore me? where are all my friends? i love your point that instead of just feeling sorry for myself, just run into the perfect love of Christ. thanks for sharing girl. and thanks for the great perspective. much love!