I realized it a couple of weeks ago – I realized just how much I’d been living the “Martha” lifestyle out of Luke 10. I could justify it all day – what I was doing was MINISTRY after all! There are needs! Orphans dying! I have to DO something! But the truth is, I was sacrificing the BEST for the good.
Everything I’m doing is good – that’s true. And it’s needed – I know that! But it’s not better than my relationship with Christ. I got a good ‘talking to’ from someone else who’s really important to me, who let me have it! (Tough love, I need it sometimes!) He warned me if I didn’t set everything aside, God was going to toss me out into the desert for a time of suffering. He told me I had to let it all go and sit at Father’s feet.
He was right, and I knew it. And I also knew I didn’t want to be disciplined by God, I wanted to make the CHOICE to lay it all down and chase after Him!
Days later, I found this verse:
“In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it.”
Isaiah 30:15
It started with repentance – “Father FORGIVE ME please for placing things before my time with you! Forgive me for being too busy, for getting caught up in my “to do list” and for allowing my time with you to be crowded by my crazy schedule. Forgive me for thinking that working for you was more important than being with you! Forgive me for not taking time to rest. Forgive me for losing my focus.”
That was followed with REST. Rest, and quietness – sitting silent before Him. It’s HARD, but when you fight for it, it’s absolutely worth it! Those moments of sitting silent with Him are so sweet…
And I rested in the park – a beautiful park, in an out-of-the-way place, with bright blue skies peeking through the moss covered trees hanging over my head.
And I’ve rested back here at home, where I found His beauty waiting on me in the blooming roses and the lush green forest overtaking our back yard.
God forgive me for rushing past your beauty without a second glance, when all the while You were chasing after me, romancing my heart!
My schedule is still crazy, but I’m learning that some things have to wait. And yes, I’m still in desperate need of support – I’m currently only at about 35% monthly with my target deadline quickly approaching (May 15) – but that’s where the TRUST part of that verse comes in… I trust Him.
like a machine – striving to produce, produce.
I only want you to live with Me as a person.
I have waited for you to wear yourself out.
I knew you would find it eventually –
the secret of silence and rest, of solitude and song.
I will rebuild your strength- not so you will work again in foolish frenzy, but just for the sake of making you strong and well. To Me this is an end in itself. Make it your aim and join with Me wholeheartedly in the project. Many joys are waiting yet.”
(pg 201-203)
*for those of you who have the book, I highly recommend these pages. For those of you who don’t, I highly recommend you order it. They are scripturally based ‘loved letters’ from God that will impact your heart in a powerful way!
Your friend is a true friend who spoke those words of wisdom to you. I’m thankful you took his advice. No place like the feet of Jesus.
The Lord has blessed you with many true friends Ericka. Continue to rest and lean into the Lord. He has mighty plans for your life!
I love you and it is good to know that God is working even when we can’t see it. Keep the faith sister!
C 🙂
Thank you Dan Phillips for that wonderful quote “Ericka, Don’t sacrifice the BEST for the Good”, we’ve used it SO MANY TIMES! Thank you God that she’s finally getting it! I love you baby girl and am so proud of ALL the things you do, but there has to come a time like this…you can ONLY DO SO MUCH in the 24 hours God gives you every day, and putting HIM 1st and KEEPING HIM 1st is the MOST IMPORTANT! Not how much you can do for Him – although that to IS important He wants your time and your focus to be on Him so that He can let you know what He wants you to do! Amazing how God gave us 2 ears to hear and ony 1 mouth to speak…Listen to Him and then use that sweet little mouth (that runs all the time) to sing His praises and share His message! You’ve got Lots to do, but you must rest and focus on God and get His directions (you never were real big on reading the directions 1st…you’d get busy and then…only if you came to a stopping point and just could not go on would you stop and read the directions). Trust Him for the support. We’re continuing to Pray that it comes in and again if it’s God’s will HE WILL PROVIDE!
Love you Bunches!
Mom
I can’t stop reading that book since you left it in India, it’s been amazing and life changing. Thanks for share it with me. I’ll be praying for you and your support raising!
I love this blog. Oh, how we all need to be reminded to sit and rest in His glorious presence! I once learned a quote from a dear friend that I’ll never forget…you may know her…”BE. THEN DO. NOT DO, THEN BE.” Sound familiar? 😉 I love you sweet sister!